2013: A Look Ahead

I checked the Akashic Records this morning in my meditations to look into my upcoming 2013. This is what the Great Library had to tell me:

I will marry Katy Perry.

I will invent the kite.

I will dance. Dance like NEVER BEFORE!

I will go to jail for downloading Napster.

I will make a declarative statement in the future tense.

I will Stanley Tucci.

Further, the Akashic Records wished to express a national and global future to me:

Kittens will continue to run the internet.

An Apocalypse will occur, but we won’t know it’s coming. You will also survive. Things actually get better at the Apocalypse.

Television will be replaced with Virtual Reality. Skype will become a 3D experience. Cyber sex will be joined with robotic sex dolls.

People of Earth will find their true homes within themselves. They will live in peace and harmony. Everyone will own a BluRay player with Netflix access.

Everyone will have their own ‘Imagine’-esque theme song that their deep psyche writes for them. It will literally be a perfect song, made only for you. It will play on repeat, forever. The only way to stop it will be to kill yourself. Over 60 percent of the world’s population will kill themselves for this reason.

The Akashic Record is God. You are God.

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